18 Apr Too often it replaces creating that soul-to-soul connection that is the basis for an eternal relationship
The same kissbrides.com linked over here thing is true with men asking women on dates. They fear they are signaling interest in marriage, rather than just a chance to get to know someone better.
This makes going out on a date more burdened than it needs to be. Instead of just a social outing with a friend you are getting to know, each date becomes an audition for marriage. Young single adults think they have to move fast and know quickly.
It is about finding someone who loves the Lord and wants to grow with you, because you have already been growing together
In some ways, this is surely a response for young Latter-day Saints of understanding that marriage is important, but on the other hand, ironically, this idea is a huge impediment to marriage actually happening.
You cannot know someone until you've spent some time with them-and early dates should not be an audition for marriage. When young singles think they are, they become terribly stressed and date much less.
You can date someone many times whom you don't marry. It is difficult to know anyone well whom you haven't spent a great deal of time with.
Because marriage matters so much to us in the gospel, every one has an eye on the young single adults to see if they are dating and progressing in relationships
This sense of needing to move fast and know quickly also tends toward another ill. That is creating a checklist for what someone should be in order to be your marriage partner.
After all, if after the first few dates, people are expected somehow to know if this is about marriage, then short cuts are taken. Instead of knowing someone's heart and mind, it is easy to revert to the checklist.
The problem with checklists, too, is that they reflect perfectionism. All of us are human, flawed, and growing. None is ideal. But we human, flawed people are looking for an ideal mannequin.
Marriage is about loving someone else's very being, about understanding their impulses, about respecting their choices, about having enough shared experiences that you want to continue doing this for an eternity.