I warn them to avoid friendships of the opposite sex because that's where most affairs begin
For him, it was the challenge that gave him a great sense of accomplishment once the relationship was consummated
But when some of these people had their first affair, they did not know about the . As a result, they yielded to yet another temptation.
Their betrayed spouses were often given misguided information about forgiveness, trust, and unconditional love that failed to emphasize the necessity of conditions that would guard their unfaithful spouses' Love Bank from outside threats
When these people see our program for the first time, they understand the mistakes they made in trying to recover from their past affairs. By following our program, in spite of their multiple affairs, they never have another affair again.
I recommend extraordinary precautions to eliminate the conditions that made their affairs possible. They are to have absolutely no contact with any of their affair partners, requiring a change of employment if they worked together and relocate if they lived nearby. They are to create reciprocal transparency (a betrayed spouse is more likely to cheat after discovering their spouse's unfaithfulness), giving each other free access to social network accounts, smart phone messaging, and any other way they communicate with others. They are to avoid being apart overnight, and to blend their lives with their spouse's, completely eliminating, in particular, what I call the unfaithful spouse's secret second life, where they had previously lived beyond their spouse's radar. Finally, they are to create a marriage of passion and romance – meeting each other's emotional needs and avoiding Love Busters.
When I offer this program to serial cheaters, however, they usually don't follow it because they don't believe in monogamous marriage. Their secret second life is so valuable to them that they resist any effort to hold them accountable for what they do.
